If You Don’t Ask for Something, You’re Much Less Likely to Receive It

Written by: Jillian Climie

Many of us enter the workplace with the hope that our hard work will speak for itself. We want to believe that promotions will arrive the moment we are ready, that pay increases will appear as soon as our contributions warrant them, and that bonuses or equity grants will naturally reflect our performance. It feels fair. It feels reasonable. And it feels like how the workplace should function.

But the reality is far more complex. These things do not always happen automatically, and not because your leader or organization lacks good intentions. More often, it is because people are busy. Really busy.

Leaders today are navigating an overwhelming number of responsibilities. They manage competing deadlines, shifting priorities, large team workloads, and pressure from their own leadership. In the midst of all of this, they are often not continually tracking each team member’s career goals, development needs, and compensation. Sometimes they do, but often they don’t.

Human Resources teams are in a similar position. Having spent much of my career within HR, I have seen firsthand how hard these teams work and how often they operate with limited resources. Their mandates are wide, their responsibilities are varied, and their workloads can be intense. Even when they want to proactively support every employee, it is often not possible.

So where does this leave us?

If you don’t ask for something at work, you’re much less likely to receive it. Employees who wait months or even years for a promotion or pay adjustment often end up feeling overlooked or undervalued. Some leave their roles before ever having a meaningful discussion with their leader about what they want or need. In many cases, their leader is surprised and wishes they had known sooner.

Those who initiate the conversation much earlier tend to have a different experience. Bringing up your goals does not guarantee an immediate yes, but it opens the door to collaboration and planning. Together, you and your leader can clarify expectations and create a roadmap that gets you to where you want to be. Sometimes the simple act of speaking up shifts the dynamic.

Of course, compensation conversations are notoriously uncomfortable. Many of us avoid them because talking about money feels personal and awkward. Especially as women, we’re socialized to be “grateful” for what we get at work. Shouldn’t we just be lucky to be there? 

But avoiding these discussions can significantly limit your long term earning potential. Research continues to show that women are still offered less in initial job offers, and the gender pay gap persists across industries. While the responsibility for fixing this should fall on organizations through equitable pay structures and unbiased evaluation processes, the current reality is that negotiation still plays a critical role.

It’s worth it

It is absolutely worth it to speak up. Give yourself time to prepare and reflect. Think about your accomplishments, and the ways you add value to your team and organization. Understand that work is a transaction. You are providing skills, expertise, time, and results, and you deserve compensation that aligns with that value.

If you want support getting ready, explore our free resources or our coaching options at The Thoughtful Co. A little preparation can go a long way in helping you feel grounded and confident.

Start the conversation. Ask for what you deserve. You might be surprised by how well it goes. And years from now, you will be glad you advocated for yourself!