The Emotional Reality of Returning to Work

Written by: Sophie Warwick

Becoming a mum has changed me in ways I never expected. I know the metaphor: put your oxygen mask on first. Take care of yourself so you can care for others. But in practice? That’s harder than it sounds.

Some days it feels like there simply aren’t enough hours. And I say that from a place of privilege. I have a loving partner who shares household responsibilities equitably. When we first moved in together almost a decade ago, we split everything 50/50. In theory, perfect. In practice, it meant we were both carrying 100% of the mental load of every task. We were duplicating our efforts.

Over time, we learned that equity isn’t sameness. About six years ago, we adopted what we call the “portfolio system.” We each fully own specific household domains. It took iterations to get right, but now I don’t know what’s for dinner or what groceries we need, and my husband doesn’t think about when the garbage goes out or whether the bathrooms are clean.

And still… we’re often running around trying to get it all done. Add in eating well, exercising, maintaining friendships, carving out “me time,” and apparently also ensuring the cat feels emotionally supported. It can feel like a lot.

But the world comes to a complete stop when she laughs. The other night I stood in our kitchen, which looked like a stampede of elephants had run through it, when she decided it was absolutely hilarious to run into the closet and dive into the hanging clothes. So I did the only logical thing: I ran in after her. Because I will do almost anything to chase that little, infectious giggle. The kitchen could wait.

I love my job, genuinely. I’m proud of the work we do and the value we bring to clients and to women navigating the workplace. I’m especially proud of the thought and care we put into designing our parental leave policy and return-to-work plan. We did everything “right.”

And still, returning to work was harder than I anticipated. I miss her more than I could have imagined, especially in those first weeks and months of daycare. At times, it felt like my heart had been split in two.

Here’s what I’ve learned: both things can be true. You can love your work and miss your child fiercely. You can feel fulfilled and heartbroken in the same day. Exercising a different part of your identity doesn’t diminish your love, it expands it.

So my message is simple: be kind to parents returning to work. They may be excited. They may be grieving the end of a season. They may be rediscovering themselves while also longing for sticky fingers and midday cuddles. None of that detracts from their ability to show up and contribute meaningfully. If anything, it deepens it.